hell yes lets make some ravioli
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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