Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
