Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
