I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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