bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
did i just pee glitter
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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