At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
FUCK WHALES
Randomize