I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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