Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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