She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
