Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you would pick up someone in the library
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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