Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
