Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize