I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
