whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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