You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
