I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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