What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
