Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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