His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
