North Korea, Best Korea!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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