4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
