I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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