Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
