There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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