don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
