We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
