we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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