I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
