He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
