just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
