So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
