i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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