I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
