Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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