Sponge bath it is.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
wow bdsm is so cute
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
