Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Congratulations! We have a period
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