Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
