When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
