He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
