Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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