there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
