I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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