We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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