And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
