How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
