Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
