Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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