He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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