WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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