Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
