hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize