then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
