Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
