yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
