Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
