D3 body, D1 cock
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
