oh god the rape fog is back!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
